Monthly Archives: January 2011

7th Grade Barter Day

When I was in seventh grade (or was it eighth?), we were studying the Middle Ages, AKA the long, educational version of what you can soak up by spending a night at Medieval Times. To commemorate the end of the … Continue reading

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Hotline

On Friday, my co-worker Richard got the creepiest and most random voicemail ever.  This grumbling, and apparently sexually-eager man leaves a message about how he called the “cum line”.  In choppy, unintelligible groans the guy says, “Hello….the cum line…that’s what … Continue reading

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Kissed By A Rose On A Grave?

You know that Seal song that goes, “I’ve been kissed by a rose on a grave”?………. I’m sorry…but what the hell does that mean?  How does a rose kiss someone?  And why does this rose have to be on a grave?  … Continue reading

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Too Hot To Portray Real Life

I always find it funny how big time actors who are physically attractive to the bulk of society play normal people in movies.  For example, I recently stumbled across that movie “Valentine’s Day” and Ashton Kutcher, who in real life was … Continue reading

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Superbowl Invite

An invite I sent to my friends: Dear Friends, Fans & Foodies, Since the Superbowl feeler I sent out revealed the majority of you awesome people are interested in an awesome time, drinking awesome shooters (Mean Girls…had to do it), … Continue reading

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401K

Today I took a step toward the survival of my future by finally signing up to contribute money to my 401K.  It’s so long overdue that I figured I better start contributing a small percentage now at age 29 so … Continue reading

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I’m Not Really An Ass, I Swear

Many times I find myself in scenarios where my humor is misunderstood and then I come off looking like a sarcastic , mocking bitch.  Today for example, someone was running to make the elevator before the doors closed and when … Continue reading

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