Did You Just Whip Out Your D?

I must be confused. Or I’m old. Or as much as I try, I’m just not a raging whore. 

Are females these days extra easy? Or are men extreme sluts? Can someone explain to me how meeting someone at a bar, followed by a brief group happy hour, followed by five days of sporadic texting, followed by a one-on-one, two-hour time period at a bar with a few beers that certainly wouldn’t qualify as a proper date, means you invite yourself back to my apartment, make yourself at home in my bed, and immediately whip out your D? 

Ummmm……….So wait…….you aren’t even going to buy me dinner?

Are women giving it up that easy these days that men think poking you is a guarantee after treating you to $11 worth of draft beer? I just don’t see how this is an equal trade off. $33 worth of beer….maybe.
And I get it.  Sometimes you just want the action and the $11 worth of draft beer was just an added tipsy bonus, but in these cases, maybe the woman can make the first move because no man on this earth with half a penis is going to turn down woman-initiated action.   

And this isn’t just a single isolated incident courtesy of one ego-maniac douche bag. The premature whipping out of the D is a move I’ve seen before, so I ask again, who are these chics giving it all away for two Tangerine Wheat beers? This allows men to continue to believe this move is acceptable before they even realize that my name has an ‘H’ in it or that my eyes are hazel…or that I even have two eyes…

I’ll let you know when I wanna see your peen. It likely won’t be after spending a combined total of five hours and 19 minutes with you. This isn’t The Bachelor, I’m not a raging whore and you hardly bought me enough alcohol.

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2 Responses to Did You Just Whip Out Your D?

  1. caseynickels says:

    you are hilarious, glad you are back.. 🙂

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